Home > Blog > Neither a Borrower Nor a Lender Be (Feedback)

March 28th, 2014 | Author: David

Neither a Borrower Nor a Lender Be (Feedback)

Thanks for all your comments. It’s a tricky topic, isn’t it? By the way, the person I lent 1 million yen to had previously lent me 300,000 yen, so I was happy to lend him the money.

I borrowed money from him when I was moving house in Sapporo. I had a new job starting the following month, so I knew that I would have plenty of money, but I had rented an expensive place, and I didn’t have enough money to pay all the up-front costs. He lent me the money, and I paid him back within a couple of months.

The reason that he borrowed money from me was that he was sending money back to his country every month, and at one point, the exchange rate was really good, so he wanted to send as much as possible. He knew that I had money in the bank that was not earning any interest, so he asked if I would lend it to him so that he could send as much as possible at the good exchange rate. He then just started paying me every month instead of sending the money back home as usual. He paid it all back within a year. Actually, I think he might have paid me a bit more as well, but I can’t quite remember.

By the way, some of you may not like the idea of lending cash, but how about being a guarantor for someone’s loan or for their rent?

Anyway, here is some feedback on your comments.

May I ask why you put “have” before “told” here?
It’s not really necessary, but for me, this is an ongoing issue, so I used the present perfect to show that although this happened in the past, it still has present relevance. Of course, I wasn’t thinking that deeply when I wrote it, but if you asked me to analyse it, that would be the explanation.

I don’t want to lend money to or borrow money from my friends even close ones as the same reason as YU’s.
I wouldn’t want to lend money to or borrow money from friends, not even close ones, for the same reasons that YU gave.

I can’t really think of a situation where I would have to borrow such big an amount from a friend.
I can’t really think of a situation where I would have to borrow such a large amount from a friend.

Maybe when someone in my family gets in a car accident and needs a sudden operation?
Maybe if someone in my family got in a car accident and needed a sudden operation?

I buy tickets for trips or concerts for my friends when they and I go together and they do the same thing for me.
Nice sentence.

So if you guys find any mistakes, please teach me why it’s wrong and how to make proper sentence.
Hi Kai, because your comment was quite short, I’ll rewrite it for you.
I don’t think that borrowing or lending money is a good idea even if the person is a close friend. I agree with what Anne said about the danger of ruining a friendship. Borrowing and lending money is risky, and it could even ruin your life. For that reason, I don’t think we should borrow or lend money unless we are sure that we can trust the other person 100 percent. In that regard, I agree with what David said, too. Relationships are really complicated. I don’t know whether my sentences are correct or not. I think my English grammar is messed up. If you guys find any mistakes, please tell me what the mistakes are, why they are wrong, and how to correct them.

needless to say I wouldn’t do it to my friends.
needless to say, I wouldn’t do it for my friends.

If a good friend of mine wanted to borrow a large amount of money because they couldn’t borrow elsewhere and I thought they were trustworthy and could pay me back, I’m pretty sure I would lend it, providing I could afford to.
That’s very good to know, Kattie. I’ll send you details of my bank account later!

I think it takes more courage to borrow a large sum from a friend than to lend it.
I agree.

but if the friends broke with me because I didn’t lend them money for reasons, I would think they weren’t friends indeed.
but if someone no longer wanted to be friends with me simply because I wouldn’t lend them money, I wouldn’t think of them as a “friend indeed” anyway.

If I were to lend, I’ll do it when I’m sure that I won’t blame my friend even though he/she can’t pay back to me.
If I were to lend someone some money, I would only do it if I were sure that I wouldn’t mind even if he or she couldn’t pay the money back.

That’s all for today. Have a great weekend.

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Comments

  1. Biwa
    Commented on
    2014/03/28 at 9:53

    Hi David,

    Thank you for the feedback and for sharing your story. Now I understand why you have lent such a large amount of money. It’s nice to have friends you can really trust. I have never been a guarantor for someone, but if a good friend asked me, I would go through the same questions, and say yes if the answers were all yes.

    By the way, Mr. Watanabe, the leader of Your Party seems to be in a big trouble by borrowing 800 million yen from his friend. そんな大金、貸せる方もすごいね。⇐I wonder how I can say this in English.

    Thanks also for pointing out my mistake on “when” and “if.” My sentence must have sounded very scary!

    Have a nice weekend, everyone!

  2. Fumie
    Commented on
    2014/03/29 at 7:02

    Hi David,

    Thank you so much for your feedback! How is your new house coming along? Are you settling down a little bit?
    Reading David’s and Kattie’s ideas of lending moneys to friends, I thought maybe in Western countries, people lend money to or borrow money from friends in case they can trust their friends whereas Japanese people usually don’t do that with friends. We may ask our family or relatives but not friends. I thought this is a cultural difference but I’m not sure because I only heard from two Western people.

    Hi everyone,

    We can see the signs of Spring. Cherry blossoms are coming into bloom, it’s a good season to go picnic. Have a lovely weekend!

  3. YU
    Commented on
    2014/03/29 at 10:20

    Hi David,

    Thank you for the explanation about why you used the present perfect.

    It’s nice to have a friend like him. I don’t have any friends who can talk about my money in the bank with. It’s not because I don’t trust them, but it’s just because “You shouldn’t cause others troubles.” is considered a national virtue as Fumie mentioned.

    I was a garantor in Japan for my husband until he got his permanent residence visa about five years ago, but it’s very common that the Japanese spouse serves as guarantor for their foreign partners. Except this I’ve never been a garantor for anyone. Before we built our house my brother always became a garantor for our rent. I’ve never thought about asking my friends to stand for it. Even if we hadn’t found anyone then, we’d have used a garuantor company.

    I don’t think I would be a garantor even for a good friend. It’s very scary for me to think about it because it is often said “You should never be a guarantor for someone else’s debt.” I’ve heard of thousands of stories about people who ruined their lives because they became a garantor for someone.

    Have a nice weekend all!

  4. Anne
    Commented on
    2014/03/29 at 9:50

    Hi David,

    Thank you for your feedback. Also, thank you for sharing your story. You are lucky to have such a good friend! I’ve never been a guarantor for anyone, even my family in my life. It’s scary,isn’t it? You need to think carefully if you would be. I guess I’ll be the one if my siblings ask me.

    >If I were to lend someone some money, I would only do it if I were sure that I wouldn’t mind even if he or she couldn’t pay the money back.
    —Thank you for correcting my sentence. Actually, when I wrote the comment, I was not sure how to figure out, and I knew mine was messed up, so I’m happy to see your correction.

    Hi everyone,
    Have a lovely Sunday!

  5. amo
    Commented on
    2014/03/30 at 9:25

    Hi David

    Thank you for your correction.
    By the way, if my memory is correct, today is Mother’s day in the UK. Have you called your mother?

    amo

  6. David
    Commented on
    2014/03/30 at 10:18

    Thanks amo. I just called her.