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I was looking at the Japan Today site this morning, and I came across an interesting article. It’s about a man who asked for advice from other Internet users when he found out that his wife was working at a cabaret club.

I don’t think we’ve ever done giving advice as a topic on this blog, so I thought it might be fun to try. I’m also quite interested to hear what you all think about the problem.

For those of you who don’t have time to read the full article, here is a summary:

The man and the woman have registered their marriage, but they haven’t had the ceremony yet. The wife has not been working because she said she was not well, so the husband has been paying the rent and all the household bills. He recently found out that she is working at a cabaret club at night. She said she is doing it because she needs spending money.

The husband posted this story on the Internet because he is not sure whether he should go ahead with the wedding or get a divorce.

So what do you think? How would you advise this man?

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6 Comments

  1. YU on Tuesday July 16th, 2013 at 04:30 PM

    Hi everyone,

    I think there are basically three problems in this story.

    1. She is working at a night club.

    2. She was telling him lies.

    3. She needs more money than he earns.

    I think they need to talk more.

    It’s not clear if her night job is a problem for him, but if so, he should ask her to look for a daytime job.

    If I were him, No.2 would be the most questionable.

    > The wife has not been working because she said she was not well, so the husband has been paying the rent and all the household bills.

    It sounds like she just needed someone to pay her rent and others so that she could spend all what she earned for herself. She is an untrustworthy woman.
    On the other hand, I don’t really understand why a materialistic woman like her chose to marry a not really rich man like him…because she truly loved him?? If so, she could change herself for him? What were her purposes of the marriage with him?



  2. Biwa on Wednesday July 17th, 2013 at 07:48 AM

    Hi everyone,

    I might sound a bit harsh, but isn’t this guy too dull and miserable? They seem to have been living together for eight months and I think that would be long enough to see if she had real health problems or not. Also, if she wasn’t really well, why was she able to hang around with her friends until late? I wonder why he didn’t find anything strange about it.

    To me, it just sounds as if she could be married with anyone as long as he payed all the rent and households. Isn’t this guy angry at her, just shocked? What’s more, I don’t really understand this guy asking for advices to people he doesn’t know at all before talking things over with her.



  3. Biwa on Wednesday July 17th, 2013 at 11:18 AM

    Sorry, I should have written “household bills” instead of “households.”



  4. Fumie on Wednesday July 17th, 2013 at 10:45 PM

    Hi David,

    Thank you for answering my question. ”Do you like~ (natto)?” is a proper expression instead of ”Can you eat ~?”. I got it. So, the site which I posted is a credible one.

    As for the topic, poor man! I would advice him to go ahead and divorce her. I don’t think she started working at a cabaret for money but maybe for other reason. I don’t know, maybe seeking for pleasure? I didn’t know that at cabaret what kind of services are offered but JT site said,” nothing particularly untoward is supposed to happen at these establishments.” Even so, it’s unforgiveable to tell her husband a lie and work at such a place. The important thing in marriage is caring for each other and trust. I don’t think he can trust her any more after he found out such a secret.



  5. Biwa on Thursday July 18th, 2013 at 08:23 AM

    Hi everyone,

    By the way, have you ever asked for or gave any advices on the net?

    I sometimes refer to them when I am looking for good restaurants, hotels, hospitals and other places. Especially when you have to choose a place you have never been before, I think those reviews from the users are, in a way, quite useful. I also receive emails from amazon after I buy books, asking me to write how the book was.

    However, I have never written any so far. I just don’t feel like giving advices to people I’ll never know. Even if I did, I don’t think I would write something really useful. So it’s really funny that I refer to those comments from the users because I know not all of them are reliable. LOL!

    Anyway, that’s why I don’t really understand this guy in the topic. Why would anyone take all the time and energy to write back a sincere advice to a stranger? I wonder what kind of response he’s expecting.

    (Sorry, correction again!) payed⇒paid



  6. Biwa on Thursday July 18th, 2013 at 10:56 AM

    I’m so embarrassed! “Advice” is an uncountable noun (of course!), I can’t count how many times I wrote “advices”. Stupid me… 🙁



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