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Giving Advice (Feedback)

I’m going to be really busy tomorrow and Saturday, so I thought it would be better to do the feedback entry a bit early in case I don’t get a chance to do it at all.

This time, there are only a few comments, so it’s going to be pretty easy!

If some other people were thinking of posting comments on the topic, please feel free to post them on this entry instead. I will definitely read them, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to give you any feedback on your English.

Here is my feedback on the comments that were posted on the original entry.

It’s not clear if her night job is a problem for him, but if so, he should ask her to look for a daytime job.
Nice sentence.

If I were him, No.2 would be the most questionable.
If I were him, No. 2 would be my biggest concern / the most serious issue.

so that she could spend all what she earned for herself.
so that she could spend everything she earned on herself.

I might sound a bit harsh, but…
This might sound a bit harsh, but…

To me, it just sounds as if she could be married with anyone as long as he payed all the rent and households.
To me, it just sounds as if she doesn’t care who she is married to as long as he pays the rent and all the household bills.

I would advice him to go ahead and divorce her.
I would advise him to go ahead and divorce her. (“Advice” is a noun; “advise” is a verb. Lots of native speakers get this wrong too!)

Why would anyone take all the time and energy to write back a sincere advice to a stranger?
I guess some people just like to give advice to others!

That’s it for now. Sorry about the very short week, but as I said, feel free to post any more comments on this entry.

Have a great weekend.

19 Comments

  1. amo on Friday July 19th, 2013 at 12:44 PM

    Hi David,

    I was going to write a comment last night but you already gave us feedback!!
    As I mentioned before, my youngest sister and her children visited us and stayed our place for 5 nights. We took them to sight seeing three days in a row, so we walked a lot every day. I was too tired to write a comment last week. Anyway, I had a good time and also they enjoyed their stay:)

    As for the topic, I didn’t get why she was able to work at night since they had lived together. So I just had a look the article and now I get it. He works night and day shifts so she works night when he has night shifts. I don’t know if they really love each others. I don’t think that you should tell your partner everything if you married, and yet in this case, she should have told him about it. Anyway this couple seems to be a bit weird. If he really loved him, he just ask why she worked without telling him. I also read the original article(Oshiete goo) and it said that he canceled their wedding.

    amo

    PS, Hi YU
    Thanks for your reply. I should have said this to you sooner.



  2. Biwa on Friday July 19th, 2013 at 02:49 PM

    Hi David,

    Thank you for your early feedback. I hope you’re going to be busy with fun things!

    I know you won’t have time to answer my question, so it would be really helpful if someone else could help me.
    「誰かと結婚する・している」の言い方は be/get married to someone, marry someone だけで、marry with は何かと何かを「結合する」という意味になる、という理解でいいのでしょうか?

    Hi amo,

    Glad to hear you had a nice time with your sister and her children.

    >I also read the original article(Oshiete goo) and it said that he canceled their wedding.

    I think that is a very good decision!



  3. YU on Friday July 19th, 2013 at 03:57 PM

    Hi David,

    Thank you for your feedback.

    Hi amo,

    Glad to hear that you had a great time with them!

    Hi Fumie,

    I’m taking a three-day trip to Osaka at the beginning of August with my family.
    I’ve been to Osaka several times, but my husband and my son have never been there.
    We’ll spend one of the three days at USJ and another day in Kobe and a half day in Osaka, but I’m wondering where should we go in Osaka.
    Can you tell me some must-see-places and must-eat-food(restaurants’ names, please!) in Okasa?



  4. Fumie on Saturday July 20th, 2013 at 12:28 AM

    Hi David,

    Thank you for your feedback!
    >(“Advice” is a noun; “advise” is a verb. Lots of native speakers get this wrong too!)
    I thought “advice” is noun and verb.
    How is your building a new house going? I hope everything will go smoothly!

    Hi YU,

    I’m glad to hear that your family are coming to Kansai. As you know, Kita and Abeno areas are newly developed and very popular but I guess it’s very crowded. I’ve never been there after they were renovated. Also, Minami(Nanba) area is still popular among young people. And Shinsekai area is distinct atmosphere.
    Where you will go is depends on your taste. Also, what you are going to eat is also depends on your taste. Surely, Takoyaki, Okonomiyaki, Ramen are well known. 難波にある自由軒のカレー、道頓堀の神座のらーめん、ぼてじゅうのお好み焼き、りくろーおじさんのチーズケーキ、堂島ロールとかは以前からあり人気ですが、新しい店はあまりしりません。あてになるかどうかはわかりませんが、私はグルメガイドなどを利用しています。
    http://tabelog.com/osaka/ 

    I hope you will have a wonderful time in Kansai!



  5. Fumie on Saturday July 20th, 2013 at 05:53 AM

    Hi Biwa,

    Regarding your question, “marry with” seems the wrong expression which non-native speakers tend to use and “marry someone” is the right expression, I think.
    I checked example sentences using “marry” and “with”.
    He is married with three kids.結婚して3人の子供がいる。
    marry sincerity with(and) kindness 誠実と親切を兼ね備えている
     marry up with one’s husband 夫と性が合う
     Brandy marries with tea. ブランデーは紅茶に合う。

    Hi YU,
    And Shinsekai area is distinct atmosphere.→ 
    And Shinsekai area has distinct atmosphere.
    correction



  6. Biwa on Saturday July 20th, 2013 at 08:36 AM

    Hi Fumie,

    Thanks for your help. 🙂
    >”marry with” seems the wrong expression which non-native speakers tend to use

    Yes, I must be careful. However, some of the online dictionaries say “marry with~ =~と結婚する”, and the example sentence goes like “marry with the left hand=身分の低い女性と結婚する”. It’s really confusing, isn’t it? (ところでこのleft handのleftは、左?それともleaveの過去分詞?よく分からないです・・・)

    I think examples like “marry with parental consent=親の同意を得て結婚する” should come first!

    >Brandy marries with tea. ブランデーは紅茶に合う。

    This sentence reminds me of what sommeliers often say. 「ワインとチーズの素敵なマリアージュ」

    Anyway, I learned a lot from the word “marry.” Thanks!



  7. YU on Saturday July 20th, 2013 at 11:15 AM

    Hi Biwa,

    >「誰かと結婚する・している」の言い方は be/get married to someone, marry someone だけで、marry with は何かと何かを「結合する」という意味になる、という理解でいいのでしょうか?

    You must know this, but here is for those who aren’t really sure about the differences between「結婚する」and 「結婚している」… (A-Z book P.274~275 より)

    1.「結婚する」は「一瞬の行動」なので marry, get married と言う。

    – My sisiter (got) married last year.

    2. これに対し 「結婚している」は 「一瞬の行動」ではなく「結婚している状態」なので形容詞の married を使って be married と表現する。

    – My brother is married.
    – My parents have been married for 30 years.

    ● RE ”marry with”

    My electric dictionary(ジーニアス) says,

    彼と結婚する ◎ marry him
    ◎ get marry to[《まれ》with ]him
    ✖ marry to him
    ✖ marry with him

    That means, “marry with someone” is wrong, but “get marry with someone” isn’t wrong, it is not commonly used, though?!

    ~と結婚する marry with someone は間違いだけど get marry with someone と marry の前に get があるとあまり一般的ではないけど間違いではない、と言うことでしょうかね?

    > the example sentence goes like “marry with the left hand=身分の低い女性と結婚する”. It’s really confusing, isn’t it? (ところでこのleft handのleftは、左?それともleaveの過去分詞?よく分からないです・・・)

    Maybe 左?
    Please see the site below.

    http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/marry%2Bwith%2Bthe%2Bleft%2Bhand___1

    昔ドイツで身分違いの結婚(新郎が金持ち、新婦が身分が卑しい場合)をする時新郎が左手を差し出したという慣習が由来なんですかね?

    Also, The expression of “left-handed marriage” seems to have negative meanings.

    http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/marry%2Bwith%2Bthe%2Bleft%2Bhand___1

    おめかけさんや2号さんとの結婚を表現するのによく使われるということは、何となく堂々と胸をはれる結婚ではない感じなのかしら?

    By the way, I found another example sentence regarding “marry” and “the left hand”

    Here it is :

    – to marry a woman with the left hand

    内縁の妻にする – 斎藤和英大辞典

    I have a feeling that “the left hand” here doesn’t mean “someone” itself, but “~の状態”….
    So, “the left hand” in the expression of “marry with the left hand” isn’t a person, either?!

    何となく marry with the left hand の the left hand は「(身分の低い)人そのもの」ではない気がします。 ”with” には色々な用法がありますが、ここでは「(人)~と」の意味ではなく、うまく言えませんが「the left hand の状態で(やましい状態で)」、みたいな意味ではないでしょうか。
    あくまでも想像なので信用しないでくださいね。



  8. YU on Saturday July 20th, 2013 at 11:23 AM

    Hi Biwa,

    ごめんなさい、2番目のリンク先、1番目と同じもの貼ってしまいました。正しくはコレです。

    http://marriage.about.com/od/royalty/g/lefthanded.htm



  9. YU on Saturday July 20th, 2013 at 11:26 AM

    Hi David,

    There are 8 comments(not including this comment), but it says 7 comments.
    Did I do something wrong again?



  10. amo on Saturday July 20th, 2013 at 01:17 PM

    Hi Biwa and YU,

    Thanks for your comments 🙂

    correction
    if you married > if you were married
    If he really loved him > If he really loved her

    Hi Biwa

    I was thinking about your question “marry with the left hand” but almost the same as YU commented.

    It’s hard for me to explain in English so please allow me to use Japanese.
    YUが言うように、私も”marry with the left hand” の “the left hand”は人(結婚相手)のことではないと思います。新郎が結婚する時、左手を出す訳ですから「人(身分の低い人)と」結婚するのではなく、「(彼の)左手を使って(右手で)」結婚する(=身分の低い人と結婚する)になるのではないでしょうか?
    説明が難しいですが、用法としては”marry with parental consent”に近いのでは?withは一緒にっていみですよね、なので「親の同意と一緒に結婚する」「彼の右手と一緒に(=右手をつかって)結婚する」が日本語にすると、「親の同意を得て」「身分の低い人と」結婚するになるのではないでしょうか。
    YUの”「the left hand の状態で(やましい状態で)」、みたいな意味ではないでしょうか。”と少しニュアンスは違いますが、言いたい事は同じだと思います。違うかな??私も自信はないけど,とりあえず私の考えを言ってみました 😉

    Have a nice day everyone,
    amo



  11. YU on Saturday July 20th, 2013 at 01:45 PM

    Hi Fumie,

    Thank you for your reply.

    I’ve been to 神座ラーメン about 20 years ago!

    We can eat 堂島ロール and ぼてじゅう here, too, but I don’t think we can buy りくろーおじさん のチーズケーキ in Kanto. My son loves チーズケーキ, so he must like it!
    As for 自由軒, I checked their HP, their 本店 in Namba is full of nostalgic atmosphere. I’d love to try their curry, but I’m a bit anxious if my son can eat 大人のカレー.

    ベタだけど、うちの旦那は心斎橋のド派手な看板(グリコやづぼらややかに道楽の)が見てみたいそうです。賑やかなのが好きなので。。。テレビで見ていつも「楽しそう」と言っています。関東にはない雰囲気ですよね。
    息子は新幹線とUSJにしか興味ないみたい(^_^;)
    とにかく久しぶりの関西、楽しみです!

    Anyway, thank you for your information!



  12. YU on Saturday July 20th, 2013 at 02:49 PM

    Hi Biwa,

    補足です。

    marry with the left hand という表現は、

    – to marry a woman with the left hand

    内縁の妻にする – 斎藤和英大辞典

    と同様で、実は marry と with の間の a woman が省略された形なんではないでしょうか?

    「内縁の妻」=「身分が低い女性」とは思いませんが、何となく「世間的に後ろめたい関係」というニュアンスは共通している気がするのですが。。。どうでしょう?



  13. YU on Saturday July 20th, 2013 at 06:33 PM

    Hi Biwa,

    Wikipediaにこんな説明がありました。参考までに。
    amoの右手、左手の話に納得です。

    - Morganatic marriage –

    In the context of royalty, a morganatic marriage is a marriage between people of unequal social rank, which prevents the passage of the husband’s titles and privileges to the wife and any children born of the marriage. Now rare, it is also known as a left-handed marriage because in the wedding ceremony the groom traditionally held his bride’s right hand with his left hand instead of his right.[1]



  14. amo on Saturday July 20th, 2013 at 07:54 PM

    correction:

    (彼の)左手を使って(右手で)
    >(彼の)左手を使って(左手で)

    彼の右手と一緒に(=右手をつかって)結婚する
    >彼の左手と一緒に(=左手をつかって)結婚する

    左手と書くところを右手と書いてました。すみません。

    By the way, when I googled “left hand” in the net, I came across an interesting phrase “left handed compliment.” Have you heard of it? it means うわべだけのお世辞、皮肉にもとれる褒め言葉.

    amo



  15. Fumie on Sunday July 21st, 2013 at 06:54 AM

    Hi Biwa, YU and amo,

    Your discussion about “marry with” is interesting! Thanks.

    Hi YU,

    >ベタだけど、うちの旦那は心斎橋のド派手な看板(グリコやづぼらややかに道楽の)が見てみたいそうです。賑やかなのが好きなので。。。テレビで見ていつも「楽しそう」と言っています。関東にはない雰囲気ですよね。

    あ、そうなんですか。あのようなものは関東にはないんですね。地域によって文化は違うんですね。



  16. Biwa on Sunday July 21st, 2013 at 08:49 AM

    Hi amo and YU,

    Thanks for your comments. 🙂

    >- to marry a woman with the left hand
    >実は marry と with の間の a woman が省略された形なんではないでしょうか?

    Thanks, I think so, too. As you both say, in this case, “with” has a similar meaning as “using”. 「左手を使って(左手で)結婚する」

    I have never heard of the expression “left handed compliment”, either. However, considering that people who eat with their fingers never use their left hand- I’ve heard that it is because the left hand is the unhallowed hand religiously- it’s quite understandable that these expressions have special meanings. Interesting, isn’t it?

    By the way, I’m going to the poll today. Are you? Honestly speaking, I can’t decide who to vote for yet. I hate the Diet always being unable to decide things because of the “twisted Diet”, but I don’t like the LDP being the leader, either. I really hope a lot of the younger people go to the poll this time!



  17. Kattie on Sunday July 21st, 2013 at 08:55 AM

    Hi everyone,

    I have a French girl arriving in the morning so I’m just doing a quick comment. On this topic, I wonder whether the man was asking people for advice, not because he really wanted it but because he wanted to know what other people would think of him depending on which course of action he decided to take!

    Dear Biwa

    Re: Scottish Independence. I can understand why a lot of people in Scotland want independence and I think it’s become more of an issue in recent years because at the last general election, there was only one Conservative MP (Member of Parliament)elected in Scotland. The Conservatives are the majority party in our coalition government but there are traditionally very few Conservatives in Scotland so a lot of Scottish people feel that the UK government doesn’t really reflect their views.

    The problem I have with this is not that I don’t sympathise with them but many people in the North of England also feel unrepresented in the UK government because there are a lot of Northern areas which also never vote Conservative! If Scotland gains independence then if will be harder for the Labour Party (the main opposition party) to win power nationally and we may find that we have many more Conservative governments.

    However, I’m not sure whether people in Scotland will actually vote for full independence (Scotland already has its own parliament which decides quite a lot of issues) because I think a lot of people will worry about whether Scotland will suffer economically and politically if they become a small independent country. By the way, the population of Scotland is about 5 million, the population of London is about 7 million and the population of the North of England is 14.5 million.

    Night Night!



  18. Biwa on Sunday July 21st, 2013 at 08:56 AM

    Just thought that my sentence might sound clearer if I add the word “negative.”

    >it’s quite understandable that these expressions have special or “negative” meanings.



  19. Biwa on Sunday July 21st, 2013 at 11:06 PM

    Hi Kattie,

    Thank you for your reply.
    I also (and I hope many other people too!) feel unrepresented in the current government. True democracy seems to be really difficult to realize almost everywhere!

    We had the upper-house election today, and the LDP (the majority in the lower-house) is likely to win an overwhelming victory as pre-surveyed. On-line election campaigns were introduced this time, but I don’t think it worked enough to make more younger people go to the polling stations. Naturally, and as always, the majority voters are the older generation who don’t want to lose their vested rights, I guess.

    By the way, I heard that Scotland has its own education system, and as you say, if people can decide quite a lot of issues for themselves, it sounds safer and more stable to stay within the UK. Anyway, whether they actually become independent or not, it’s something that would never happen in Japan (I think!), so it’s really interesting to me. The population of Scotland is almost the same as Fukuoka prefecture (9th largest population of all 47 prefectures), and the population of Tokyo (the largest) is about 13 million.



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